Gary’s Grampa’s Trombone’s “Whoa!!”

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Happy Birthday Conan O'Brien, Jack Larocque

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Quote Of The Week: 

"The chief enemy of creativity is good sense." Pablo Picasso

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Here in Newport, RI April is when the Snowbirds return and tourist season begins.

There is a LOT to do: https://www.discovernewport.org

The locals, for the most part, go into hiding. And, by hiding, I mean hanging out at the Fastnet Pub on Broadway for an afternoon game of pool or a Guinness on the back patio. Mmmmm…Guinness…

 

 

 

And for us, of course, the early evening hang with Doris:

 

 

Regrettably, we’re away from here a lot during the summer but when we are here we love it. Because of traveling and the Newport distractions, I don’t get a lot of work done but it sure is a nice challenge to have.

I’m thankful to be swamped with deadlines and commissions and gigs and, as an Artist, this is a “problem” I don’t take for granted. So, to those of you who buy and/or appreciate my art, I appreciate you greatly.

Story Time

For this story, I’m using a few of the drawings I did for Douglas Yeo’s book “An Illustrated Dictionary for the Modern Trombone, Tuba, and Euphonium Player.” (Hey- who doesn’t like a story illustrated with trombones?) 

  

 

 

If you’re not familiar with my brilliant friend Doug, check out YeoDoug.com

 And, if you need a gift for your favorite modern trombone, tuba, and euphonium player (I’m sure everybody has one), here it is: (http://tinyurl.com/yc28hb6t)

Like, check out a few of these low brass instruments featured in the book. For real:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Ok, so…

Years ago, before I started teaching at Berklee, I was in a brass quartet led by my longtime friend and excellent trumpet player Bruce Hopkins. The quartet was two trumpets, french horn, and me on trombone.

 

 

We played concerts, wedding ceremonies, corporate Christmas gatherings, and such; basically, live “classical” brass music (think Beethoven, Mozart, Handel…) for hire.

Playing classical music is not my primary thing. In many respects it’s a whole different thing than playing jazz, pop/rock or latin music but, back then, I was able to hold my own with the quartet and an occasional symphony gig.

But, since my orchestra tours with composer Osvaldo Golijov, I don’t get to play much classical music- my last performance with him was at Carnegie Hall (hey, I can drop names. It’s my newsletter…). And, anyway, the only time I have available now is overnight and I’m not sure an all-night orchestra gig exists.

Plus, I should probably sleep at some point.

But I digress…

 The Muppets Circuit

 As crazy as it seems now, a three piece version of the brass quartet, a brass trio, was a big part of my income back then because of one special thing: Elementary School Tours.

We must have appeared at every school west of Worcester, MA, grades 1 through 6, playing short familiar classical pieces as well as my arrangements of more contemporary, fun tunes including The Muppets and Simpsons themes.

 

 

 

 

We had grants from “Bank Boston” (now Bank of America) and we did a ton of these programs for years.

Each presentation lasted about 40 minutes and we would usually perform three per day, a couple of days a week.

 

(Me, calling on one of 6 kabillion kids)

 

Count ‘em. NINE.

In fact, a few times, we had to pack 9 of these programs (yes, NINE) into one day, back to back, racing from school to school.

 My Demonstration

At these presentations we would also demonstrate our instruments individually. My job, obviously, was to show how the trombone works.

 

 

 

(trombone) 

 

1. All brass musicians play a note the same way. We “buzz” or lips into a mouthpiece.

 

 

 (mouthpiece)

2. We can change our notes by how we buzz our lips into our mouthpiece. An experienced player can actually play 9 or 10 different notes just by buzzing our lips.

 Basically, when we buzz our lips fast, it makes a high note. And when we buzz our lips slower, it makes a lower note.

Try buzzing your lips. In your cubicle. Right now. You needed time off anyway.

 

Rotaries, Pistons and Slides, Oh My

3. There is another way to change notes. Some brass instruments have valves that they press:

 

 

 (trumpet valves)

 

And the cleverly named slide trombone has a slide (go figure).

 

 

 

By moving the slide back and forth, we can play many, many more notes beyond just buzzing our lips.

When you see a trombonist play, that’s what the “slide” is doing- it’s changing the notes by changing the slide's "positions."

 

  

 

4. So, when we combine the slide movement and the speed we buzz our lips, we can produce the notes we want (what a weird way to make a living).

There Will Be A Quiz Tomorrow

And that’s your trombone lesson for the day. You’re welcome.

You can buy me a Guinness. At the Fastnet Pub.

Gary

With that ultra long premise to my otherwise short story-

One morning I arrived at the auditorium of a school in Leominster, MA and, before we started setting up, a third grader named Gary ran up to me carrying a trombone case taller than he was.

He said, “I have one of those, see?” pointing to his trombone case. “I even know how to play it”. 

I said, “That’s great!”

Gary said, “Yup! I found it in my Grampa’s attic last week. I play it all the time. I love it!”.

I said, “Well, can I try it?”

Gary The Third Grader quickly put the trombone together- a good sign that he had, indeed, been playing it a lot.

I put my mouthpiece into his trombone (I didn’t use Gary’s mouthpiece because…yuck) and unlocked the slide, a sort-of latch thing so it doesn’t fall off by itself- the slide needs to be “unlocked” in order for it to move.

 

 

 

(slide lock)

So, unlocking the slide, I played a quick F major scale.

Gary yelled, as loud as can be….

 

“WHOA!! THAT THING MOVES??!!”

 

Unlocking A Universe

My new friend Gary had been playing and loving the trombone every day for a week, not knowing it could play more than the 3 notes.

Gary’s Grampa’s slide had been locked for a week (or who knows how long?) and he was buzzing his lips only playing in that locked first position. And still loving it. Imagine the world that opened up when he found out there was the possibility of dozens of notes.

 Pablo Picasso once said,  “We artists are indestructible; even in a prison, or in a concentration camp, I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell.”

My first large work as an artist was a very large pen and ink surrealism on a very large piece of cardboard I found in the trash when I was a teenager. I couldn’t fathom spending money on a very large illustration board.

I still have that piece, maybe someday I’ll show it.

Gary created joy on a trombone with only three notes.

 NO EXCUSES

The moral of this story thanks to Pablo Picasso and Gary?

There are NO excuses for you not to consider yourself a “creative” person.

No matter who you are, no matter your lot in life- your current circumstances, your schedule, your lack of experience, lack of tools, AI, automation, the end of the world, blah, blah, whatever- there are ZERO excuses.

Even at your job that you just got fired from for buzzing your lips in your cubicle.

The secret to it all is to not create for the monetary rewards (nice if/when it comes, however) or approval (that’s mostly nice, too) or for ANY reason but the joy of creation itself.

To create because you have to. Because you love to. The urge. The “It” of it all.

Create, create, create. Whether you are stuck in life, in Picasso jail or, like Gary, first position.

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See you next time. Or at The Fastnet Pub.

Lennie

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